


To Be Alive

by ArcheaMajuar



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Just a sweet little story :), M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 19:04:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21433198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcheaMajuar/pseuds/ArcheaMajuar
Summary: “I don’t know, Sam… Pick a name, it’s easy to say, but what kind of name? John, George, Paul, Ringo… How am I supposed to pick the best one?” Deadman broke the silence, thinking aloud of the suggestion Sam had made, looking quite helpless, yet his spirits somewhat revived.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges/Deadman (Death Stranding)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 157





	To Be Alive

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue as I'm from the Czech Republic. There are mistakes in the story, I know, but I don't have anyone around to give me their feedback on the fic, grammar and so on (but if you'd like to let me know about the mistakes, please, do so in the comments bellow or just send me an email (you find it on my profile page), it'd be much appreciated)
> 
> I'm really sorry for the errors, but I hope you'll enjoy this work anyway :)
> 
> There are almost no Death Stranding slash stories, so I've decided to give it a shot :D

Sam had just returned to the Capital Knot City, carrying only a few quite ordinary packages as the recent days he was being easy on himself. It was a bit unlike him, but he was, indeed, exhausted and delivering small boxes across short distances occurred to be a preferable way of relax to loitering around the Bridges base. As the immediate threat of the sixth extinction passed and Sam’s body was finally free of the everlasting strain, Sam was even prone to enjoy these little journeys, and thanks to Lou, he was savouring the moments of coming back as well.

Or was it coming home?

Sam wasn’t sure, hell he didn’t want to think about it, but the feeling of undeniable contentment filled him every time he stepped or blew into the hangar on the bike in a speed of a lunatic.

Fragile was right. He changed. He felt ALIVE and was about to relish each moment of his life as long as he could.

Smiling mildly at this almost crazy determination to savour life, Sam proceed to having a shower and then he put on some comfortable sweatpants and a t-shirt before he reached out for a can of beer which he consumed in a single go.

Feeling fresh and in very good spirits, he headed for the next room that wasn’t vacant anymore as its interior had started to resemble a kid’s bedroom. It still looked too sterile for Sam’s liking, but he didn’t doubt Deadman had been doing everything to cluster basically anything that could make the room as cosy as possible. Actually, there already was the green paint (or whatever it was) on the wall and ceiling, then two boxes of various toys were located in one corner, and a couple of plush animals occupied the otherwise empty cot.

It was empty, so it meant…

Once Sam heard footsteps from behind, he turned to their source only to spot Deadman coming to him, holding giggling Lou in his hands.

“Hi, Sam,” Deadman smiled kindly at the courier. “I’m glad to see you again.”

“You’re saying it like I’ve been away for weeks when I’ve left only two days ago,” remarked Sam, yet the honesty in his friend’s eyes sparkled something warm within his chest. It always felt nice to know somebody, indeed, appreciated seeing him in person. The flame of affection only grew the moment Deadman handed him Lou who grinned at him, eyes gleaming with joy that was rather contagious.

“Hi, little guy,” greeted Sam the baby-boy, being at most pride as Lou made a sweet happy noise as if he was greeting his as well. “How is he?”

“Safe and sound,” assured him Deadman, watching the scene with a fond expression. “I’ve taken him for a short tour around here… I showed him some colourful pictures of animals that used to live in America and he seemed to like them, but once we got to the fishes, he became very tired. I then opted for returning him back here where I wanted to keep an eye on him for a while.”

“Can’t blame him. Fishes are Goddamn boring,” smirked Sam, glancing briefly at Deadman who reciprocate the smile, but then Sam noticed Lou’s yawns, too. “I’d better put him to sleep,” and saying so, he walked to the cot and carefully laid Lou down, and even though the boy was now wearing clothes, Sam still preferred to cover him with a thin blanket. After all, Lou could play with it once he’d get bored of sleeping…

“You know, Sam, it doesn’t matter if you’re gone for weeks or just for a few days,” Deadman spoke up again, and Sam felt the look of his eyes on the back of his head. Deadman’s voice was serious, yet somewhat gentle, and Sam’s heart swelled a bit at it despite Sam’s unwillingness to actually take it in account.

“It doesn’t matter, at least to me, because it’s always a relieve whenever you return here… to Lou who has nobody but you,” he added, joining Sam at the cot, looking down at the dozing baby-boy.

“Please, you don’t believe this bullshit,” hissed Sam at the other man, aware of the fact he shouldn’t swear in front of a child, but he hoped Lou was too tired to catch such words. “He is attached to you as well, you can’t deny that.”

After a slightly tense moment of silence, Deadman’s voice cut the air, but it was strained, laboured as if speaking was very hard for the man, “No, I can’t deny that, but I also can’t shake off the feeling that I don’t deserve it. The love of a child whom I perceived as a thing for unforgivably long… And for the whole time, he was more of a human being than I’ll ever be.”

The remorse emanating from Deadman’s words hit Sam deeply that he would’ve wished for, forcing him to weigh his friend’s assertion more thoroughly that he would’ve done usually, but it wasn’t that difficult to grasp that Lou was reminding Deadman of his own mistakes…

Still he loved Lou immensely, which Sam sort of admired about him.

When it came to such thoughts, he was sure he really grew fond of Deadman as they were almost constantly in contact during his mission to stop the death stranding, however, he realized they were calling each other also now, and not out of necessity, but just to have a short talk about Lou or literally anything.

It was nice, accepted Sam the current state of affairs, not being at all interested in fighting as… as he was already attached to Lou, so how it could hurt to be attached to more people? There was no point in denying he enjoyed their company.

Yes, he did, though it seemed kind of surreal in regard to their first series of meetings, but Sam, indeed, developed an inclination to spent some of his free time with Deadman.

Mostly talking new packages, deliveries that were needed to be undertaken in the next week, what they could potentially scavenge somewhere for Lou’s room…

Realizing how much important Deadman became for him, Sam felt obliged to comfort his friend at least a little bit as he definitely earned it, and not only due to the help he provided Sam with during his mission, but primarily due to the time he was devoting to Lou. When Sam was out of the Capital Knot City, Deadman took care of the baby-boy, being there for him willingly and relentlessly, treating him with every ounce of tenderness he was capable of.

A touched smile appeared upon Sam’s mouth as he listened to his heart, allowing himself to let down his guard as he said, “You’ve plunged into unknown waters, facing a possibility of death, relying on your colleague’s powers… And all that only to save me. That seems like a hell of a human thing to do. Lots of people wouldn’t have courage to actually risk it.”

They both watched Lou, standing side by side, falling into silence for a while, maybe just thinking of what was said, maybe just savouring the peaceful atmosphere.

“I guess, we’ve all changed for the better in the past weeks,” Deadman suggested in the end, his tone optimistic, perfectly matching the way Sam perceived the near future with Lou and… his friends?

The warmth within his chest spread further, the notion of home getting clearer contours.

“Sam, can I ask something? Do you… do you think of Lou as of your son?”

Similar questions might’ve irritated Sam for them being quite personal, but he knew Deadman was just curious, trying to somehow understand what was going on here, so there was no rage bubbling underneath Sam’s skin. No, nothing like that.

There was pure honesty between them. And trust.

“Yeah, I do,” was the simple answer. Turning to face Deadman, Sam gave him a subtle smile, “And I hope you see yourself as the uncle, and not a handler, ‘cause it’s not who you are.”

Deadman chuckled bitterly, refusing to meet Sam’s eyes.

“I doubt Lou would want an uncle who is going under the name of Deadman,” possessed his tone a shadow of deeply rooted sadness. “I’m used to it, of course, but can’t say I like it, so how could Lou?”

As ridiculous as it sounded to Sam at first, after a moment he sensed Deadman had a point, however, he didn’t see it as an unsolvable problem.

“Why won’t you pick a new name?” asked Sam, supposing that it would be the best thing to do. “Keep Deadman as a surname to avoid misunderstandings, but choose a name Lou could call you by or… just know you by,” and elaborating on this idea, from the back of his mind came an unsettling thought which suddenly overwhelmed Sam. Previously he didn’t give a rat’s ass about it, but now… as he was encountering his friend on quite regular basis… It was making sense.

“I’d personally prefer to call you by another name than Deadman as well,” he said under his breath, and even though he noticed Deadman’s abrupt glancing up to him, this time it was Sam who wasn’t reciprocating the look, opting for staring down. “It doesn’t seem right when I know that you aren’t dead… mainly on the inside, I mean,” he added, a bit annoyed by himself as his voice was shaky, his chest constricted.

The symptoms were too obvious to be ignored, to be caused by anything else, and Sam was aware of it, however, he was reluctant to fight such emotions in the slightest. After all, he had spent lots of time in denial, he was avoiding his destiny, neglecting almost each of his emotions, but in the end, all of it caught up with him anyway.

There was a life to savour, a son to be raised, and people to be loved.

“I don’t know, Sam… Pick a name, it’s easy to say, but what kind of name? John, George, Paul, Ringo… How am I supposed to pick the best one?” Deadman broke the silence, thinking aloud of the suggestion Sam had made, looking quite helpless, yet his spirits somewhat revived.

The same way he came up with Lou - out of blue Sam simply knew he’d love to have a son named Lou - it clicked in his mind again, and without pondering what he was doing, Sam smiled at Deadman, locking their eyes and saying, “What about Gabriel?”

“Gabriel?” flashed him Deadman with a surprised glint in his eyes, though right away it was replaced by a cheerful flicker as the man immediately liked the sound of the name. “It… it sounds nice. Strong and full of life,” beamed Deadman at Sam. “Thank you, Sam, I think I’ll give it a chance…”

Sam offered Deadman, now Gabriel, a little, encouraging smile, but for Deadman words were insufficient to express gratitude, thus before Sam was able to brace himself in any way, the other man threw his arms around him, hugging him, and Sam…

Sam hesitated only for mere seconds to hug him back because it felt good to do so, to let Gabriel know he was almost alright with being touched. Of course, his body went rigid, tension leaving him only slowly, but something within him tightened and a shiver ran down his spine once he felt as their hands brushed, a pleasant tingle was sent throughout his frame, leaving him… leaving him wanting more. Under that feeling which he wasn’t used to, Sam just slightly moved his hand in the direction where he thought Gabriel’s hand was.

Therefore, as soon as the other man withdrew, the backs of their hands were still deliberately touching.

The look in Gabriel’s eyes ignited that long forgotten fire within Sam’s heart. He was fascinated by the caring, kind man in front of him, who wasn’t born as a human being, but he gradually became the very epitome of humanity.

And as Sam shifted his hand again, clasping Gabriel’s palm in his own, the warmth on the inside was joined by the wonderful warmth on the outside, namely at the place he was touched by another person.

Yeah, Fragile was right. He changed. He felt alive. And he felt loved.


End file.
